Hello, it's Wednesday my dudes. WAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! Yeah, so that means that I lied about when I would update next, it also means that there are 13 days remaining until my mock Philosophy exam. Which really fucking sucks. Wow I got to take off my watch, I can't type quickly with it on. Ok I'm back. No leap in time. It's 12:55 rn. If there were a leap in time you'd get the yellow marker. So I'm back in France anyway. I was only in my native country for the weekend for the open day at that university. You know, it's kind of funny. Of all the universities in that country, that is the on I really want to go to because it has all the things I want and it seems like the best one (subjectivly). And it just happens to be the university that my mom went to, and in the town where my mom and dad met. It's also barely 20 minutes from all my other family there. I was in a tour and we went to the computer building, where they do computer science. And one of their computer labs has roughtly 144 computers in it. LIke, it's masssive!!! I was blown away at that. And that's for 1-3 year students. The 4th years get a lab where they can go without the other years. My pollen allergies are clearly only present because of whatever plants are here in France. For a couple of weeks prior to leaving, I've had allergies and the symptoms of them. Then during the 4 days I was at other country, NOTHING!. Then like, 15 minutes after landing back in France, everything is back. I just thought that was funny. I bought a book when I was there. It's in english so that is great. It's called Breathless by uhhh, shit I don't have the book next to me. It's by the same author as "all the bright places". So I started reading that on Monday, and now I'm at page 332. Which I mean, is amazing. I have never read a book so quickly. Before this book, I have never read anywhere near 100 pages in a day, even in smaller size books (page sizes). I guess it's just because it is good ANNNND in english. I think it's mostly the english part that makes me read so much. Even though I have lived in France for a long time, I absolutely hate reading in french. I'm just too slow at it, and I can't concentrate, and I end up needing to re-read entire paragraphs because I did not retain ANYYY of that information. Thus why I want to study in an english speaking country. But in reality, that is the main reason I want to study abroad. Because it will be in english. And then I have sooo many more reasons to stay. I have more reasons to stay then to go. FUKC! Yeah it sucks. In 4 months I will be leaving my friends. Well, at least that's the plan for now. I can always change my mind. I have up until July to change it. Or August, one of them. Our teacher submitted the computer science project we were working on. The regionals are in end of may, and then the nationals in july. So it should be fun to see how far we get. Hopfully we win. Giving what projects won last year, it's promissing. But then again, it doesn't mean they will be the same quality this year. I haven't started studying my philosophy. I should, but I don't know how to do it effectively. I am not a literary person, as in, I prefer practicing science than literatture. Other than reading books that I WANT to read. So it's a lot easier to study maths then philosophy, because I actually know what to do and HOW to practice it. Basically by doing exercises. But how tf do you do the same thing for philosophy? Like, you just can't. I'm going to have to write a dissertation on a question on the exam and I have 4 hours to do it. On the last mock of it, 4 hours was not enough for me. And this time we have EVEN MOOOOORe notions to work on. I'm going to end up crying after the shit again, like last time. I cried for like 2 hours after the last exam because I knew that I was going to have to do it again and the final time I do it will count on my Baccalaureat. Plus, this mock is in the morning. From 8 till 12. Like, wtf. AND, we have class in the afternoon. Classes weren't canceled for the exam. It's just so stupid. If the exam goes so bad to the point that I'm crying after, I'm just going to skip the afternoon class. Because fuck that. I have never skipped a class in the history of me going to school. And the class I have in the afternoon is computer science, which I got 100% on in the exam. So I'm not too worrried. But still, like, I'm not doing that shit if the exam goes so bad. Which it probably will. You know how I said I have a very hard time reading in French? Well I'm pretty much just as bad when it comes to needing to think in french and argument something so rigourously in french. Just, too much. But I still need to aim for at least 75% if I want to get a good appreciation. Which is so high. I'll be lucky if I even get 50%. Ok I am going to stop complaining about the exam now. Since that is a lot of text just dedicated to it. I haven't started watching the series I was suggested to watch yet. It's called Bensenjo or something along those lines. I'll start watching it when I finish my book, which will be later probably. I'll definetly get the series done during the holidays. Well I'm not actually sure. We're already 25% through the spring break. Eh, doesn't matter really. Plus I got to study. AAAND fuck, my oral that I have to prepare. Mmmm, lots of stuff. I took some photos when I was in native country, they weren't as good or as many as I usually would have taken. Since I was only there for 3ish days and it was raining a lot. I remember my dad telling me once that when I was 3, during the summer it rained everyday for 2 months straight. He said it was the most depressing summer ever. They ended up doing BBQs in the garage with friends over. It's wild that it rained for that long. And I will probably be moving to that country for at least 4 years lol. At least I will come back here during the summers. So, no worry about 2month rain hehe. You know that instagram feature that kind appeared out of nowhere and everybody was confused but using it and it's actually kinda cool? I'm talking about the notes you can leave at the top of the dm section. Well, 2 people there just updated their notes, one is a sun emojie and the other is a moon emojie. Why am I telling you this? Idfk. My one rn is "surrounded by alcoholics" which is something I have thaught about twice in the past week. Once in home country when my cousin was bringing out vodka. And oncey yesterday, because my dad came home at like 1am drunk af lol. Eh, it is what it is. But I stick to what I said. I don't drink alcohol, which is why I think this too. I don't drink alcohol, smoke, vape, do drugs, or uhhh, one other thing that has no use being mentioned. I can't wait until spring break ends. Because then ever lunch time I can wait in the yard hoping that a certain person chooses to sit next to and talk together while we wait until the next class. I could talk to them on social media, but idk how I want to start a conversation. Like, just out of the blue start it and talk about what? "how are you" "what you up to" "how's the holidays so far" stuff like that just sounds so bland and I don't want to just start up with that. Because I feel like it is so easy to just stop after that. Unless they actually want to talk with me too. Which in that case idk. Cool I guess. Oh yeah, I mentioned this a while ago that I didn't know what they wanted to do specifically. I knew it was in medicin, so now I know, they want to be a Forensic Pathologist. Which I am checking the French version on google translate rn because I always forget what they said. They told it to me in french, and I didn't understand what that was, so they said "forensics" in english and now I got it. Oh wow, google translate changed it's UI a bit. It's more..ROUND! I think. Well that's how it feels anyway. This is beginning to be a very big entry. I have not updated the archive yet. I will do it when I upate the LTE with this entry. I might add more to this entry later. So I will not do it right now. I hope I still have the code that automates the archive format. Which reminds me I should change the style of the archive a bit. I will do it, so, uhh, just wait for it to change I guess lol. [[15:57]] I'm back, and I can't belive that much time has passed. I was mostly reading more of my book I think. Or I was also browsing social media for a time that just flew by. BUT, I have like 5 pages left of my book which is cool. Well maybe a bit more than 5. Around 15 sounds more reasonable. So of course I have not done any studying of anything. I will do a bit of Maths homework rn, so, trigonometry :screamface: :cryingface: Haha, I'm doing emoji tags. Mmm so that is that. You know while I was on the plane the other day, I was thinking, what if I wrote all of the essays I had to do in english class in here? Since they are all at least 200 words long. I'll have to go searching for the ones I already put away. I got 100% on all of the essays, so uhhh, yeah that actually means nothing since I am a native english speaker, but still. It means my teacher thought it meets the theme enough to give me 100. You know, I literally just remembered something about an essay I had to write in english class last year. My teacher gave us the theme "What will you do during summer?" I think, it was along those lines. So I talked about how I was going to go see my friend, and how it would be the second time I see them in person in the past 10 years, and that it will be the first time I will be going to their birthday party since their 6th birthday party. And that was going to be their 18th. And just loads of stuff like that. I was really looking forward to all of that. But, then none of it happened. I will not say why, I said that MONTHS AGO in here. If you know how to search on a browser (CTRL+F), you'll find it easily. I doubt I have that essay laying around somewhere. Well actually I might, I have kept all of the copy books I've had since my first year of highschool, you know, just in case I need some past knowledge. But they are all at my moms, and since she is in Turkey for a couple of weeks, I will have to wait a couple of weeks. Well I could just go there by bus, but I'm not going to go there just to get my old english books lol. So what was I going to do? Oh that's right, MAFS!!!!! bye. [[16:29]] Hello I have returned, I did one single trigonometry maths exercise. I know, earth shattering effort. I still have not studied ANY philosophy. And I will not do any today. I will start tomorrow, why? Because I hate myself. No that's not why, I love myself and I don't want to hate the fact that I'm doing philosophy so I will end up hating myself. That made absolutely no sense and nothing is wrong with the fact that it makes no sense. Wow I have surpassed 10 thoudsand characters in this entry. Actually I'm nearing 11 thousand right now, not even 54 characters away. I wonder when my LTE will reach 1 megabyte worth of text. I'm gonna check what it's at rn. It's at 429KB, so roughly the same amount of characters that are in the LTE. I guess I will just have to keep writing until I reach ONE MILLION CHARACTERS!!! *fireworks explode* hahaha. I am being so damn unproductive and I feel like shit for it. You know the website for computer science class that I have been working on? Well we still haven't presented it yet. And my teacher basically sujested that I remake discord, he used the word "disord". SO! I will remake email instead. Because that just sounds so much easier and I don't have to deal with dynamically updating everybody's page whenever a new email is sent. They have to refresh that shit themselves. It will be sooo much less complicated. I know this because even just making a simple little chat box was a pain in the ass. I spent HOURS on that. I have a general idea on everything I will have to do to get the email system and page looking good. I need: a home page where it loads all the emails when you login, the ability to query a second page or more depending on how many emails you have, the ability to filter search for emails, the ability to load the email you click on, the ability to return to the last page at the same queried search/page of emails, send emails, send emails to the RIGHT PERSON, reply to emails (idk how I will display the replies yet), add people as a copy to an email? forward emails? idk the more I say ideas the more it's just details. If I can get the general UI working and sending and recieving emails working, it should be fine. [[17:16]] This is the most continuation marks I've put in a single entry. I guess I just want to keep writing today. I'm not sure how much more I have to write though. I guess we'll see. I think this is my biggest entry to date. I'm not sure though. I'll check how many words are in it real quick. Nope not even close. I'm a good thousand words away from being the longest entry. Eh, that doesn't really matter anyway. Some of my classmates did presentations on cults last week (I think, or the week before) and it was wild the things. There was this one where it's a french cult that believes in aliens coming to earth to save us, and they believe in cloning n shit. And the leader things he's the true messenger between him and the aliens and he is the one who will guide the people to new life, where they will be reincarnated in a lab as clones. But really, that whole cult was filled with pedophiles. Like they have this thing called the "cosmic orgasm" I think, and it's basically this thing where you have to be purified or something as soon as possible, I would compare it to being baptized in christianity I guess. So the ideal thing is for them to do this as soon as possible, why? I forgot. But yeah, fucking pedos n shit, it's nasty. And there's a lot of brain washing, like we saw a video of a girl who got out of it when she was 22. She was basically born into it, and she was brainwashed to the point where she wanted to have sex with people there as if it were her duty or something. They have this group where depending on your ranking in the group, it determins who you are allowed to have sex with, and the "lucky" ones get to have sex with the leader, it's some high ass rank idk, something to do with a flower name. Then two other people presented the Moon cult, which all I remember is that it is korean and they had a thing where they did collective arranged marriages. Tbh, I don't think their presentation was that good. Either there was very little information on the cult, or they just did not go that far into detail and did very bad research. They showed us two videos, it's those types of videos where it's just music, text at the bottom left explaining stuff about the subject, and frames related to the subject. Nobody actually talking. They showed us two of these and all the information in those videos were all the information they told us. It makes me think that they based their research only off of those videos and then showed them to us just to make sure they didn't miss anything. Ok I have really just been shit talking their presentation, but that's how I felt. Not very good. Then there was the Scientology presentation, which I must saw was the best of the 3. Although they didn't have enough time to finish it, which sucked. I wanted to see what the last person had to say about the last part, I think it was to do with how they get money n stuff. That person after told me that it was supposed to be the best part. So, yeah, that sucks. So scientology is like, uhhh, it just feels like more of a big ass scam then a cult. It's all about liberating yourself and being healthy and getting out of depression. BUT, you aren't actually in depression. You pass this quiz where you answer loads of stuff, then it gives you a graph saying "ooh based on your answers, you're depressed af", and then you have to go to one of their locations so that they can analyze the graph and tell you what to buy and do to get out of this. And then it goes in circles like, you have to buy books and read the books and believe the books to be better. And donate and get more books and items to do with the cult. It actually sounds more like a pyramid scheme. Then again, I didn't hear the end of it because the bell rang, so there is missing info in what I am saying. So yeah, that's a brief thing on cults that I learnt. I could tell you about Satanism, which is the cult that I worked on with my friend, but I don't feel like doing that right now. It feels a lot less culty then the other 3 I just mentioned. And I don't feel like going back into my notes. I will talk about it another time though, for sure. fo sho. Of all the things my brother could have said to me when I came home from native country was "How many girls you pull?" which is just the most ridiculous thing I think I have ever been asked. Because 1. I'm not someone who goes around trying to get random girls' numbers and 2. I already like someone, but he doesn't know that so it doesn't count uhh and 3. read point 1. I'm half falling asleed on my desk rn, because I'm just tired, and feel like shit and lonely. I usually always feel lonely during school breaks. 2 weeks without any of my friends around to see them every day. We don't all live in the same town. So it's not as simple as just going to their house. Or it is, I mean, there are buses. But then what? It's always the then what that is hard. So I might fall asleep on my desk, or I'll find something interesting to do. idk. [[19:01]] I finished the book, well that was about 20 minutes ago. Anyway, it was really good. I liked it a lot, the fact that I finished it in 3 days proves it lol. 380 days in 3 days. I have never read anywhere near that much in that short a time. It's cool. So that means I have to start watching bensenjo soon. Aka, tomorrow. No way I am starting something today. [[21:47]] This is the last resume marker of the entry. I am going to go and update the LTE now. I will update the LTE then I will update the archive. I will not edit the style of the archive yet. I want to make it so that the entries show up in columns instead of down in one single line, because that's just not at all using any of the screen real estate. I might be back tomorrow, or I might now. I'm not sure I will have that much to talk about for another few days. I really said a lot today. But eh, doesn't matter. I'm gonna go and play some video games now. Well, by now I mean after I update everything. Sooooo, enjoy your day, and or evening, or whatever time it is that you are reading this. Because you aren't necessarily reading this at the moment of me updating it. Which is fine, I expect nothing from you. If you decide to stop reading half way through, I would not blame you. Especially after my philosophy exam rant. Just enjoy the entry, and the wholte LTE. I'll do some cleaning with the website's style some time soon. Ok, goodbye fore now, person I don't know. :waas